a free verse poem (NaPoWriMo #1)
the other day, one of my
younger friends informed me
that there is, in fact,
piss in the dating pool.
being that she swims this
thing harder and faster than
I have in the last ten years,
I take her word for it.
from the stories I read online
to the YouTube podcast snippets
I view, people seem to be
struggling to find their
person… struggling to
build a life with someone
who doesn’t need coddling
or can form more than two
complete sentences.
I don’t want to be in that
water—I’ve had my share of
tidal waves and slapping on
lifejackets to save myself
from the menacing waters.
Nikayla keeps me on my toes.
I am reminded that
at my most worrisome and
frantic self, I can become
despondent—distant.
this is not welcoming behavior.
I’m also a sore loser.
five rounds of pool, and I lost
three in one night; two the
night before, and three the
night before that, my competitive
side was laying claim
to silence.
the topic of discussion had
been one I aged out of or
am aging out of, and this
side-swiped me in a way
I hadn’t been ready to face.
I blink, and I hear her voice
telling me, “You’re not as
annoying as you think
you are”, and I am
grateful for reminders.
I need them.
at 19 years my junior, I
find myself totally in awe
of the way her mind works,
and how much I’ve learned
from her. I fear losing
what we’ve built to a shift
in who I am, who I’ll
become, or our completely
different and varying ways
of thinking.
I am in a world I had
momentarily forgotten—befriending
a beautiful soul whose heart
is just as fragile as mine.
however, high sensitivity isn’t
a blockade for her.
regularly, I make myself aware
of speaking up when I
should but staying quiet if
I have nothing to add, and
with the younger crowd,
listening can only get you
so far… you have to add
your pieces to the puzzle
if you want to solve it.
before her, I didn’t recognize
what doing better looked
like, but knowing better will
ensure fewer mistakes
spilling over the cup of
our lives.
I have a feeling she’ll
keep teaching me things
I force myself to sit
and reflect on—no one
wants to clean up the
mess of themselves, but
we all should be willing
to do it to grow.
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